Life-changing pivots:
Some are slow in the making… others are a mere few seconds and you didn’t even realize what was happening.
Some are positive. Some are nasty. Some are mysterious and unveil themselves to wonderful surprise.
Some are small in magnitude. Others are massively impactful.
No one really understands or feels our life-changing pivots the way we, ourselves, do. But we can share them with loved ones to grieve or celebrate, cope or prepare, and eventually (and hopefully) grow.
My recent life-changing pivot involved a skiing accident. Sparing you the details here, but the fall resulted in a ruptured ACL and torn meniscus in my left knee. It was one of those quick falls that takes forever. And I knew instantly “that wasn’t good.”
What is semi-interesting (to me) is that in the week prior to the accident, I had planned to “announce” my race plans for 2024, but decided to wait a while longer until I could craft a fun video to share.
What were the plans for 2024? My goal was to train for the Oregon 200, a 200-mile trail race, sponsored by GoBeyond Racing and Oregon’s first trail race of this distance.
All systems were a go for tackling this in August 2024… and I was super excited for the challenges that lie ahead.
Part of my professional mantra is to try to “walk in the shoes of my people” so that I can experience (a part of) their challenges. Whether it’s a dietary pattern or supplement, doing similar athletic events or distances, trying out sports nutrition or a fueling strategy, practicing a lifestyle habit, crewing at races, I like to be in your shoes to feel what you feel. Obviously, I can only mimic a small part of your experience, but I get a glimpse. And I learn and apply the takeaways professionally, but also add to the beautiful bucket of human experience.
So now my goal of “being in your shoes” with training and going for a 200-mile race has pivoted to upcoming knee surgery followed by months of rehab, rebuilding strength and learning how to move again.
Aside from the current physical blow is the mental and emotional toll. Whatever the various stages of grief are post-injury, I’ve been riding rough waves of anxiety, deep sadness, loss, and fear over the past ~3 weeks.
I’m certainly not looking for positive toxicity from anyone (a phrase I learned from my good friend, Kim). I’m also working my way through the “Things could always be worse” response, said to myself and heard from some others. While that statement lets us escape our current reality for a moment, it doesn’t let us sit in the muddy pit of our own hardship and feel the feelings. For more perspective, I found this article quite helpful (admittedly, with flowing tears and tissues in hand).
As I write this, I have about 48 hours of living in this current body and mind until surgery begins. I am embracing the waves of emotions and the unknown reality that lies ahead.
Above all of the surface level tidal waves that penetrate to the soul, I return to a feeling of gratitude for these gifts of uncomfortable and undesirable challenges and the growth that will result, no matter future outcomes.
If you made it here, thank you for reading.
And a huge thank you to the friends and family who have provided the space for sharing my mud, especially to Pat and Kim, who have patience to the moon, and Bryan and Debbie, who helped on the day of the accident.
Much love,
-Dina
“One does learn a lot about themselves when injured.” —Carrie Tollefson, Olympic runner