Do these things to mess up your 70.3 triathlon, Part 1

Important note:  This is written in mostly a satirical tone.

With many of my athletes and friends competing in this weekend’s Boulder 70.3 race (and loads more races to come over summer months), I want to share a few things you can do to most certainly have a subpar race day.

These are common mistakes triathletes make in the few days prior to their race. I do not make up this stuff.

  1. Eat meals and snacks in the couple days prior to your race that you don’t usually eat prior to a big training session. Make sure to sample all of the sports nutrition products offered at the Race Expo. Keep thinking “I will burn off these calories during the race.”
  2.  Or change your dietary patterns the week prior to the race. You know who is eating “low carb” and killing it, so you better follow suit to see the same results. Or on the flip side, your coach demands that you “carb load starting 3 days in advance”, providing you a nutrition plan that has Pasta Jay’s and the local bagel shop staff working double shifts to meet the demand. This is all excellent because undereating or overeating both work perfectly for race day.
  3. Forget about hydration the couple days before the race. Especially here in Colorado Rocky Mountain High territory. You’re too busy and anyway, you’re going to have some tasty microbrews to relax and get your extra B vitamins. Electrolytes?  Poo-poo. We all sweat the same and the body can take care of itself. You don’t need no sodium.
  4. Devise your race day nutrition plan the night before.  You’ve trained well and checked the boxes from your coach for several months. That’s all that matters. The nutrition plan is easy-peasy.  Make sure to plan sports nutrition products you’ve never tried in training. The guy at the Expo swears by product XYZ, so it’s bound to work for you too.

Let’s leave it at that for now.  Next up, some nutrition-related tips on what to do on race day to guarantee good times.

Okay, I know... nutritional satire is not always funny.